I Was the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from Kindergarten Cop: An Interview.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is best known as an Hollywood heavyweight. But, during the peak of his cinematic dominance in the eighties and nineties, he also delivered several surprisingly great comedies. A prime example is Kindergarten Cop, which hits its 35th anniversary this December.

The Role and The Famous Scene

In the hit comedy, Schwarzenegger embodies a undercover cop who goes undercover as a schoolteacher to locate a fugitive. Throughout the movie, the crime storyline functions as a simple backdrop for Arnold to film humorous moments with his young class. Arguably the most famous features a student named Joseph, who unprompted stands up and declares the former bodybuilder, “Boys have a penis, and girls get a vagina.” Schwarzenegger responds dryly, “Thanks for the tip.”

The boy behind the line was brought to life by child star Miko Hughes. His career included a recurring role on Full House as the schoolyard menace to the famous sisters and the pivotal role of the youngster who comes back in the film version of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He still works in film today, with several projects in development. He also engages with fans at popular culture events. Not long ago discussed his memories from the filming of the classic over three decades on.

Memories from the Set

Question: Starting off, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?

Miko Hughes: I think I was four. I was the smallest of all the kids on set.

Wow, I have no memory from being four. Do you remember anything from that time?

Yeah, somewhat. They're flashes. They're like picture memories.

Do you recall how you were cast in Kindergarten Cop?

My parents, primarily my mom would accompany me to auditions. Sometimes it was an open call. There'd be dozens of children and we'd all just have to wait, go into the room, be in there for a very short time, do whatever little line they wanted and that was it. My parents would feed me the lines and then, as soon as I could read, that was some of the first material I was reading.

Do you have any recollection of meeting Arnold? What was your feeling about him?

He was very kind. He was fun. He was pleasant, which arguably stands to reason. It would be strange if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom, that surely wouldn't foster a good work environment. He was fun to be around.

“It'd be weird if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom.”

I knew he was a major movie star because I was told, but I had not actually watched his movies. I sensed the excitement — he was a big deal — but he didn't frighten me. He was just fun and I only wanted to hang out with him when he wasn't busy. He was busy, obviously, but he'd kind of play with us here and there, and we would hang off of his arms. He'd tense up and we'd be dangling there. He was really, really generous. He bought every kid in the classroom a yellow cassette player, which at the time was like an iPhone. It was the hottest tech out there, that iconic bright yellow cassette player. I listened to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for a long time on that thing. It wore out in time. I also have a genuine metal whistle. He had the referee's whistle, and the kids all received one too as well.

Do you remember your experience as being enjoyable?

You know, it's funny, that movie became a phenomenon. It was a huge film, and it was such an amazing experience, and you would think, as an adult, I would want my memories to be of working with Arnold, the legendary director, visiting Astoria, the production design, but my memories are of being a really picky eater at lunch. Like, they got everyone pizza, but I wasn't a pizza fan. All I would eat was the meat from the top. Then, the first-generation Game Boy was brand new. That was the hot thing, and I was pretty good at it. I was the smallest kid and some of the bigger kids would bring me their Game Boys to get past hard parts on games because I knew how, and I was really proud of that. So, it's all youthful anecdotes.

The Infamous Moment

OK, that specific dialogue, do you remember anything about it? Did you understand the words?

At the time, I wasn't fully aware of what the word shocking meant, but I understood it was edgy and it made adults laugh. I knew it was kind of something I wasn't supposed to do, but I was given special permission in this case because it was comedic.

“She really wrestled with it.”

How it was conceived, based on what I was told, was they hadn't finalized all the dialogue. A few scenes were established early on, but once they had the whole cast on the set, it wasn't necessarily improv, but they refined it on set and, reportedly the filmmakers came to my mom and said, "There's a concept. We want Miko to deliver this dialogue. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't agree right away. She said, "Give me a moment, let me sleep on it" and took a short while. It was a tough call for her. She said she had doubts, but she believed it could end up as one of the iconic quotes from the movie and her instinct was correct.